Damien
by KendallJennerFan
Summary: What would happen if he asked her about him?
1. Where's my Daddy?

**Damien**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Castle. This is my first fic so enjoy :)

Summary:

_What would happen if he asked her about him?_

It was 9 o'clock at the time. Kate Beckett was about to put him to bed after she read him a bed-time story. His favorite was Peter Pan.

"Mommy, May I ask you something?"

She looked up at him. 'How could I create this gorgeous innocent creature?', she thought.

"Of course, pumpkin, what is it?"

"Where's my Daddy?"

This is it. Kate couldn't help but stare into those big piercing blue eyes. Hell, those reminded her of him. The big, full shape and seriousness in those eyes come from hers, but the blue ones like a clear sky and the intensity on them belongs to someone. Someone she hadn't meet, or even around for a quite long time. She was shocked. Like a bomb has just dropped right on her head. It's like she could just cry right now. She knew exactly this thing would eventually come someday, the day when her baby son asking about him. The other person who brought him into this world.

"Daddy's not here," Kate tried to sound as normal as possible, although she could feel her hands shaking.

"Where is he?"

Kate paused. Not sure whether she'd say something right. She's not prepared for this. At least not now, she thought. 'Lord, what am I suppose to do?', 'Should I tell him?'.

"Baby, listen, umm- I guess you better sleep now. It's getting late and tomorrow is your 1st day of school, alright?" Kate tried to change the subject.

"But Mommy-"

"Damien, there's no buts, okay?"

She's pleading and there's nothing the-six-year-old brunette to do except nodded. Kate kissed his forehead,

"Night my beautiful Mommy,"

The proud mama smiled. 'Jesus, he's my everything,'.

"Night baby, sweet dreams," then she turned of the night lamp and left little Damien into slumber. She knew her heart has just torn into pieces.

_Hope you'll like it! Review please.. :)_


	2. My fault

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Castle.

**Chapter 2**

The next day, Kate was driving and about to drop her son to school. It was a bright sunny day. Damien seemed excited about it and she relieved her son didn't bring up the conversation last night. She could see him playing with his toys at the passenger seat. As they arrived, she took her son's bag and walking hand-in-hand entering the school. Together with another students and their parents she accompanied him to the class. Damien is a quite tall boy for a kid on his age and everyone at their neighborhood called him 'the charming boy' cause he always loves to smile, cheerful and very friendly towards everyone. Of course he 'inherited' the charm from someone.

They stopped at hall outside the class. Before she let her son go, she gave him a slight goodbye kiss,

"There you go pumpkin, promise me you'll be a good boy, okay?" Kate looked at the freckled face.

"I will Mommy," he answered with a smile.

"That's my boy.. now go, Nanny Rose will pick you up at 12,"

"Bye Mommy," he waved.

"Bye sweetheart," Kate watched her son entering the class, then she left. She sighed. Time sure flies. It seemed like yesterday he was born and now he's starting Kindergarten. Her mind drifted to the years she's been through with her son. Those were the best years of her life, although doing it on her own was the toughest one. Actually she never thought she'd be a mother someday, not in the past short years specially when she had to face the situation of being a single mom. But then she knew being a mother is the greatest thing a woman can be. And she loves it.

Now she's heading back to the precinct to solve another cases.

"How's little Damien doing?"

Lanie opened up the conversation. Kate was sitting on her desk looking over some paperworks. "He's doing great. Actually today's his first day in Kindergarten, he seemed very excited about it," she answered. "Can't believe he's getting so big already, he's such a cute boy Kate, gorgeous even remembering he's just turned 6 last week. I mean he also looks so smart just like you," Lanie added.

Kate chuckled. "Yeah, thank goodness to see he's growing well. And the funniest thing is, he's already a ladies man, you know. I noticed few days ago when I took him to the park and he made every little girls flattered. And every moms in there were like 'oh you're his mother, you must be so proud of him'. I think that's funny," she continued.

Lanie laughed, "Really? Well, no wonder. That reminds us to someone huh?"

"What?"

"Uh, nothing. I mean, I'm so glad to see you as a mom Kate, you've changed a lot ever since you had Damien, and you've been a very wonderful mother. You're working very hard but you'd still be able to balance your work and your role as a mom. I don't think any women would be as great as you,". Kate smiled, "Thank you. Having Damien is the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I'm just trying my best for everything. But, I don't know… things been very hard for me these days. Since Damien realized that.." she paused. "That?" she earned a glare from Lanie.

Kate wasn't sure if she'd tell her about this. The thing that has been bugging her through the day. She hold her breath.

"He asked about him."

"Wait, about who?" Lanie got confused.

"Him. His father," Kate sounded a little bit more like whispering. Lanie could definitely saw the hurt on her face. They both got silent for a moment.

"It's about time Kate,"

Kate's nodded silently.

"When did he asking?"

"Last night, when I was about to put him to bed,"

"So what did you say?"

"Nothing. It was late and I was trying to change the subject. At first he insisted but I told him he should sleep cause he's going to wake up early," Kate answered. Tears suddenly streaming down on her face. She just couldn't hold it any longer. Lanie came closer to her then hugged her, all Kate could do was just crying on her shoulder. "It's okay, Kate. I know you can get through all of this. You're the strongest woman I've ever known, but sometimes you just can't be as tough as you always do. Just cry if it would help you to feel better," Lanie tried to calmed her down. That's the only thing she can do to her bestfriend right now. It's a very different Kate. The Kate that she, and people knew was the strong, brave woman who didn't afraid of anything. But now, Kate's facing her greatest fear. She's weak. And hurt.

"It's all my fault," Kate finally spoke up.

"What do you mean it is all your fault?"

"Because I couldn't give my son what he wants. A father."

Lanie sighed. "Oh please, Kate, that's nonsense! Listen, Damien has you. His mother. He doesn't need anyone but you. You're the one who's been with him for his entire life, the one who love him more than anything in this world and would do anything even if you have to trade it with your life. It's true that children would need a father figure in their life, but what's that for if they could have an amazing mother after all the things they've been through together? Damien is very happy with you and you raised him very well even if you're doing it on your own. You can't blame yourself for that,"

Lanie's right, but the moment that happened last night just made everything even more confusing. Kate's really not ready for this. She always thought her son would never asked about it, but suddenly he did. "I- sometimes I just want him to be like other normal kids. Have a family, both mother and father, maybe siblings. I remember the day when he told me that his friend, Matt, learned how to ride a bike from his dad, I could saw the look on his face, he just wanted to be like his friends. He needs someone to teach him how to throw a ball, the one who could take him to a baseball game or anything boys-like," Kate explained what's on her mind.

Lanie held both of her hands, "But you can't say that it's all your fault that he had never been with his dad. You never wanted things happen to be like this Kate, as you said before you're just trying to do your best and you did. Even since you'd decided to keep him years ago. Besides, are you going to tell Damien that his dad left you because he thought you've cheated on him and he didn't even know that he was exist?" Kate shook her head. Those memories flashed on her mind and brought her sudden pain.

"I know. I'm sorry, I just-". Lanie cut off, "You don't have to be sorry. I understand that it's been very hard to you and sometimes you just blame yourself for something that you think you couldn't handle well but Katie, you're not alone. I've told you this before at the moment when you told me that you're pregnant, that you have me, Ryan, Esposito and Capt. Montgomery. We're all your family as well as Damien. We'll always there to support you no matter what. And the thing with Damien's question, I know that someday you're going to tell him the truth but please stop blaming yourself for this. I just hate to see you like that. You are Detective Kate Beckett. Nothing would stop you being you."

Kate smiled. At least she could feel more relieved now. She just felt so glad that she chosed the right person to talk. "Thank you so much Lane, I don't know what am I going to do if I don't have you and the others. I really appreciate it," Kate hugged her.

"Anytime, Kate. You can count on me cause we're sisters right? Anyway, it's getting late already I think we should go home now, papers can wait till tomorrow. Remember your little man is waiting for you at home," they both laughed.

"Well, you're right. Let's go,"

So here's the 2nd chapter! What do you think? Sorry if it's not as good as you expected but at least I'm trying cause this is my first lol


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